Zim tzu goes through déjà vu – daily norseman

ED NOTE: This has bad words. Most of the other things we write on here usually don’t, but this one does. It seems to be a popular bit, so until the law catches up with me, I’m going to keep doing it. Thanks for understanding, and thanks for not reading and not letting your kids read it if bad language isn’t your thing. Hope you enjoy the rest of our articles—Josh

Well, I’m not sure how many Vikings fans expected what was coming on Sunday, but I’d say the number was somewhere between 99 and 101 percent of us. I mean, what else is new? Playing down to the level of an inferior team, getting blown at home, suffering a historic loss when expecting to win, fucking up expectations when it comes to living up to the team’s potential ability to win a Super Bowl.


What Zim Tzu said: Okay, we’re trying to get ready for a very, very good Rams team. We have practice today and we’re leaving this evening. We’re going to try and get [to Los Angeles] and practice tomorrow. This is a really good football team; they have the Defensive Player of the Year, Offensive Player of the Year, and Coach of the Year, so we’ll have to go out there and play very well to win this game.

What Zim Tzu meant: Well that was a fuckin’ disaster, wasn’t it? This team played flatter than Kyrie Irving thinks the Earth is on Sunday, and now we have to go face the New Best Team in the West. On a Short Week. Because why the hell not. Oh, and they’ve only gotten better since we kicked their asses last season, and it certainly seems like we’ve gotten worse since then. But who knows, maybe that fucker on their sidelines is still feeding that shlub under center his feeds and maybe this defense can pull something out of their asses.

What Zim Tzu said: The only thing we’re concerned about with Everson doesn’t have anything to do with football, it’s about him getting better. In the five years I’ve been here, I’ve always loved Everson and the effort he puts out, the work he does, the ability to count on him in games and in practices, so he’s always been a good model for us and obviously he’s going through some tough times now.

What Zim Tzu meant: What the fuck else can happen to this team while I’m in charge? I mean, we’ve literally almost had a player’s leg fall off, I lost my best running back for a year due to legal and league issues, my offensive line all died one year, and I’ve been cycling through quarterbacks like heroin addicts cycle through dealers. Of COURSE one of my captains needs to have a mental health evaluation. Guess I should be glad that I wasn’t around when the ceiling fell in on that old piece of shit stadium, though I suppose the new one could always catch fire if one of those birds those guys were worried about fall into the glass and the glass decides to microwave the field.

What Zim Tzu meant: I’ll kill any of you sons of bitches who lets it out of the room, but what else would explain that disgraceful display on Sunday? I mean, it was Buffalo for fuck’s sakes, not the goddamn Monstars. We damn well better find a supply of that “Michael’s Juice” before we hit the field against L.A. this afternoon because if we don’t, I’m making these sons of bitches walk home.

What Zim Tzu said: They’ve got great receivers. Cooks is a dynamic receiver, Cupp is really good, Woods looks fast and even better than a year ago. Obviously Gurley is a hard-running back with great speed to get to the perimeter, and their offensive line does a nice job. Like I said earlier on a conference call, Goff took a big jump from his first year to his second year, and I think he’s taken another big jump in his third year. He’s moving well in the pocket, seems under control of their no-huddle offense, and getting into and out of plays, so it’ll be a great test for us.

What Zim Tzu said: We have cutups on teams and that game was in our cutups. We went back and watched what they tried to do to us moreso than what we tried to do to them. They took the ball right down the field and scored on the first drive against us last year, and then we were able to do some better things after that. When you are playing a team that can run and throw the ball like they can, have big plays, have all these different receivers that are big-play guys, it makes it challenging.

What Zim Tzu said: Their front guys, Donald, Suh, and Brockers, they’re ‘get going up the field’ guys. Suh is explosive, powerful, knows how to get to the quarterback, and then Donald is quick side-to-side and then uses power, so yeah, it makes it difficult. Their linebackers are fast. They have two good safeties. Their corners are really good, but if they don’t play, Shields is a good player and [Nickell Robey-Coleman] is another good player.

What Zim Tzu meant: For fucks sakes, if our offensive line hasn’t learned how to block again before tonight’s game, Kirk could very well be leaving this game in a body bag. Thank the good Lord that the only good part of L.A.’s defense that is fully healthy right now is their defensive line, because if we also had to deal with those corners, I think we’d be playing to see how long it takes us to cross the 50-yard line again. Fuckers.

What Zim Tzu said: We work on that all the time, it’s securing the football with two hands. On the first fumble last week, he was trying to come up in the pocket and the guy caught him from behind and the ball was [away from his body] and he punched it out. We’re working on it all the time, not just with him, we try and work on it with all the quarterbacks, but obviously he’s holding the ball the most so we try and work on that a lot with him.

What Zim Tzu said: It really stresses the defense when a guy can run and you saw that a couple times. [Allen] scrambled for a touchdown, he scrambled for a first down and there was another situation, I think he scrambled to throw one time. You have to be careful. One time the QB went out of the pocket, another time he came up and through the pocket, and we stressed that more this week than we probably should have done. We should have done more and I have to take responsibility for that.

What Zim Tzu said: It’s a problem. We haven’t had a home game on a short week in the five years I’ve been here, but it is what it is. We go out and play the schedule however they do it. I know the statistics about going to the West Coast on a short week and all that, so part of the reason we’re going out tonight [Tuesday] is because we did a study on preparing for a game on a short week and all those things and that’s why we’re leaving tonight after practice.