Bears fanfiction – 2018 chicago bears fanfiction finale, part 1 – windy city gridiron

Welcome to CBS Super Bowl Coverage! I’m your host, Colleen Wolf, joined by an all-star cast of football’s finest: play-by-play virtuoso Mike Tirico, all-playoff color commentator Antonio “Tony” Romo, NFL-Network’s Patrick Claybon and Aditi Kinkhabwala, Cielo the Jaguar, Honey-Bump the Bear, NFL.com’s Marc Sessler, and, in case of a number-related nerd emergency, Cynthia Frelund.

”It appears Aaron Rodgers will be starting today, despite his injury in the AFC championship game during a sack from former Browns nose tackle Danny Shelton, best known as the man who was regrettably drafted before all-pro nose tackle Eddie Goldman. Reportedly, the injury was due to Shelton’s effort to not fall with the full weight of his body on the quarterback. Shelton instead fell with 90 percent of the weight of his body on Rodgers’ legs, causing a tear of his left PCL, contusions to both distal femurs, and collateral damage to the bilateral lateral collateral ligaments.


I just caught up with Leonard Floyd and got his thoughts about facing a hobbled quarterback and an offensive line consisting primarily of retired alligator wrestlers recruited via flyers at north Florida Walmarts. Leonard told us, ‘You just have to adjust your expectations. It’s no longer about whether or not you get sacks, but about how far back you get your sacks and what percentage are you getting the strip sack.’

”Ok, so basically, everybody thinks the Bears will win, but if you want to bet on the Bears to win, it’s cheaper to do so and you will win more money betting on this site than any of the others, by a significant amount. At the same time, if you want to bet the Jaguars will win, you will win less betting here than other sites. For an example, if you wanted to win 100 dollars if the Bears win, you would have to bet 425 on the Bears at bossbets, but you’d have to bet over 500 dollars to win the same 100 dollars on any of their competitors.

What this means is that majority of bets for the Bears to win are being placed at bossbets, and the majority of bets for the Jaguars to win are being placed at their competitors. This is insane and it should never happen because it’s not in the betting sites’ best interest. If you run a site, you want to get even bets on both sides: you get a percentage of the money bet, and you make a profit no matter what happens. That’s the business model, and that’s what every site except bossbets has been trying to do. The problem is, every time their lines change, bossbets lowers their line even more in response.”

”Essentially it means that bossbets is making the biggest sports bet in history. If the Bears win, they will have to pay out hundreds of millions of dollars more than they took in, and it will almost certainly put them out of business. On the other hand, if the Jaguars win, bossbets can keep the hundreds of millions bet on the Bears and pay only the small amount of people betting Jags on their site. All of the other sites have been forced into a position where they will lose millions if the Bears lose. This is the first year that sports betting has been legal in the US for the Super Bowl, and it’s unequivocally a disaster.”

”So I’ve clarified with Bears head coach Matt Nagy that even though the Bears are already enjoying a dance party with their victory disco ball, they have procured a larger disco ball for a potential Super Bowl victory party. They’ve also booked several local Atlanta acts including Migos, T.I., and Ludacris. Outkast is scheduled to play as a group for the first time since 2016. Additionally, Beezo and Strap are set to perform whether the Bears win or lose, and I’m told they have also secured a performance from a surprise local act that is not to be missed.”

”It’s crazy,” Staley started. “I’ve only spent two evenings with you. You’re a (former) mafia capo whose committed countless crimes for the purpose of sabotaging my team. I’m missing the Super Bowl. I spent yesterday clawing clean the grout of a cheese-defiled bathroom. I haven’t eaten in three hours. But watching you smile my life feels more full than I can ever remember.”

”No. It’s definitely an artery,” Tracy replied. “Look…” Tracy removed the gauze and blood began to spurt out of Vaneesa’s wrist with startling velocity. “If it was a vein, it would be a slow, constant ooze and the color would be a purpler, more of a mulberry. This is much more red, like a currant—at best boysenberry—and its splattering out in out in bursts with her heartbeat. See?”

“What is wrong with you guys!” the once-great quarterback’s patience had run dry with his rag-tag crew of makeshift linemen. “I made this painfully simple for you. Don’t go on hut. Don’t go on hut hut. Don’t go on go hut. Only go if I say Pizza Hut. Y’all eat that trash, right?” Rodgers himself preferred a thin-crust brick-oven baked artisanal slice.

“…Pizza Hut!” In the fraction of a second between when the ball left the ground and the right tackle realized it was time to go, Khalil Mack was behind him. Mack’s feet drove into the earth with each thumping step, propelling him closer to serving a Chicago-style deep dish smothering to the recovering cheesehead. Rodgers slammed to the turf with the maximum allowed percentage of Mack’s wait bearing down upon is fragile form. A precious tear formed in Aaron’s right eye as he soaked in the gravity of his situation.

Tarik Cohen’s punt return served as a preview of some moves he would be introducing at the victory dance party and conveniently placed the Bears in Jaguars territory to start their first offensive drive. On the first play, Trubisky and Trey Burton ran in synchronized strides on a bootleg to the right. Trubisky drew back to toss one of his famously immaculate on-the-run touch passes into Burton’s supple welcoming paws— eeeerereeeerreeeeereeeechch. A horrifying screech pulsed through Trubisky’s head and his whole physical presence was consumed by its echos. He clutched his helmet and reeled.

Staley did like her sense of humor. His surprise and fear broke into laughter and he fell forward laughing, his oversized furry head landing on the hospital bed next to Vanessa. Laughter relaxed into smiles and eye-gazing, which developed into a tender smooch. As the smooch continued, its tender innocence escalated into an increasingly passionate affair.

On the second play, Trubisky was prepared. He looked off Tashaun Gipson, confired Jalen Ramsey had inside coverage on Taylor Gabriel, and then drilled all his will into a lightning spiral on a meticulously-timed deep out. The screech came and again debilitated the quarterback, but it was too late to stop the bolt Biscuit had shot towards his speedy receiver.